Letra Fat Ray Stevens

Fat

My new driver's license photo
Makes me look like QuasimodoAnd all my clothes are styled for me
By Minnesota Fats The diet drink I live on
Soon may take the place of DeconHeard it killed 8-million laboratory rats Every night I dream of Ding DongsThat are big enough for King KongAnd someday I may just be that big myself. Stepped on the scales, put in a dime
Card came out, said "One at a time"
I tell ya friends, I really need some help [chorus]Cause I'm fat
I feel so fat
The bottoms of my feet
Are the only parts of me that's flat
In a society where thin is in
And lean is where it's at
Fat. Oh,hoo, hoo oo...
Why do I have to be so fatàYou're so fat [background voices] Started workouts with Jane FondaWhen I couldn't get in my HondaI's determined I'd turn all my flab to lean I would hear of some new diet
And I'd run right out and try itDidn't eat a thing for weeks that wasn't green. Every week down at the fat club
I would proudly stand up
Tell my weight loss, and give my testimony Lost 50 pounds, I's feeling great
Just had one drink to celebrate
And went right out and atea french-fried Shetland pony [Chorus] [begin standup comedy]: Somebody put a bumber sticker on my car
Said honk if you've got groceries I's just standing on a corner
And a cop came over, and asked me to break it up Evel Knievel called
Wants to jump me Earl Sheib wouldn't paint mefor eighty-nine ninety-five Good Year called
Wants me to join the fleet
Cover the next Superbowl All the chairs in my house got seatbelts